FROM SCRIPT TO PAGE: PAGE 3

Each page of Monsterplex took quite the journey from initial conception to finished product. Some more of a journey than others. Let's take a look at Page 3.

THE SCRIPT:

Page 3 –

1- The women watching Ryan give Ken his marching orders. Icky, dirty sludge is dripping down and landing on Lina’s shoulder. I see Ryan and Ken in the foreground squaring off, with us looking past them to the women.

RYAN
Ken, I don't want to hear it.
The bugs are wild in three.
Clean them up and tell them
this is their second warning!

KEN
Yes, boss!

2- Same angle as 1. Ryan is still boring a hole into Ken, but is now pointing up. Lucy is wiping some sludge off of Lina’s shoulder.

RYAN
And take Sludge
with you.

3- Looking up from the ladies’ perspective at Sludge on the ceiling leering at them.

SLUDGE
Mmm…ladies…

LUCY AND LINA (from below and off-panel)
EEEEE!!!

4- Ken busts out his utility broom with sword tip in one hand and his sawed-off shotgun in the other. Total hero pose. (Can combine panels 4 and 5 if it’s easier—it’s the whole “goin’ off to battle shot.”)

KEN
Let’s do this,
Sludge.

5- Ken in the foreground making his way to auditorium three. Sludge follows him along the wall. Behind them, in the background, we can see Ryan, Lucy, Lina, and Bitsy watching (or not if you can’t fit them in. It’s not crucial).

SLUDGE
I want off mop
duty for a week
for this.

6- Now back on Ryan, Lucy, Lina and Bitsy. Ryan is putting on his best game face. All eyes in Ken and Sludge’s direction. Lucy and Lina still a little peeved. Bitsy couldn’t care less and plays with her hair. Unbeknownst to them, a giant swamp-like monster is behind them and about to pounce (he’s the monster from “It Came From the Back Nine”) This should not be a huge panel on the page, even though it’s tempting. Big panel should be the one before it.

RYAN
So sorry. Ken is usually so
on top of things.

Might be the decay.
I’ll have a good look
at the left side of his brain later, you
can be sure of that!

Nothing to worry about!

-----------------------------------------

Dave's first pass at penciling Page 3 showed me that he was already improving quite a bit as their were very few elements that needed changing.


Panel 3, I felt, didn't quite get across the idea that Sludge was bearing down on the ladies. And Ken's big hero-going-off-to-fight-the-battle panel just wasn't dynamic enough for me. I made a few suggestions and Dave came back with this:


Don't forget to vote for, star rate and favorite MONSTERPLEX! We're in the final days of the competition and this when things can turn around fast. Spread the word and help us do it!

More later.

-Brock